Friday, April 03, 2009

Osbournes Reloaded

I just had to comment on this.

We were all fairly amused by The Osbournes back when it was on the M-Tiv. It was a total freakshow, and Ozzy was hilarious. I mean, it's just too funny to observe an aging rocker whose nervous system and motor skills are totally shot from rampant drug use and biting off animal heads. That was then...

Now, this recycled crap has taken on a new form on FOX. The Osbournes Reloaded is to put it simply, ghastly.

I made sure to record it after American Idol, just to see how bad it was going to be. I was not disappointed-- or was I? Well I hated it... so whichever one that is.

It was like a cross between a horrid gameshow, an over-scripted awards show (Golden Globes or below), and something else... I just don't know what.

It began by Kelly picking out a "random" dude from the audience who said he'd make out with a stranger for $100. Then Kelly picked out a pretty good looking gal who was a little too down to make out with this bald dude. So they make out blindfolded, and everybody thinks it's cool. But then they trick the bald dude into making out with some grandmother. Just grotesque.

After some horrible little skits and teleprompter jokes, the "main event" reveals itself. Some other bald dude gets called up on the stage to identify pictures of three people. One of them is his girlfriend, who declares that if he doesn't marry her tonight, she's leaving him.

God... this is like Maury Povich crap. So she's all dressed up in her wedding dress, and he's "forced" to go to backstage and debate this with his friend until the end of the show. They set up a fake ceremony with all the peoples' family and friends (must be all extras and stagehands), and he agrees to marry her.

This show is quite simply dreadful. The only good thing about it is that Jack is not as revolting anymore and Ozzy's hair was so soft and conditioned looking that it appeared as though he was wearing a wig. I did laugh once however, at a skit featuring two kids who were the "Lil Osbournes". But ironically, that was thanks to the great acting of two 8 year olds and good writers.

I hope to God this was just a pilot episode and that we will never be subjected to this filth again. These are people just barely hanging on to D-List celebritydom and are probably out of royalties from their MTV show. This atrocity of television cannot happen again. People have enough to hang themselves about these days. They don't need this.

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