Thursday, November 20, 2008

Current Annoyances and Random Thoughts

I don't recall ever having done this before, as I usually end up writing so much on one subject. So... I'm just going to sort of jump around here and talk about random stuff.

I haven't figured out a way to open up all these links in a separate window, so I request that you use the "back" button, to finish reading this, instead of getting sidetracked by all these great links I've posted. Okay, here we go.

-- The hot stove days of MLB's free agency period are one of the most exciting times of the sports calendar. I know. Crazy, right? I'd say that this two week period of nervousness and crazy lapses in financial judgement fits somewhere in between anything involving tennis and the day when you draft the fantasy football team (the one that actually means something to you). In fact, let me rank the different sports' important events.

15) Anything regarding tennis (unless it involves Maria Sharapova, or Ana Jankovic, which then catapults tennis up multiple notches)
14) NFL Pro Bowl/Your Fantasy Baseketball Draft
13) NCAA Basketball's regular season
12) Any other All-Star Games
11) Golf's 4 majors (but only if Tiger is playing)
10) NBA/NHL/MLB Regular Seasons
9) Baseball's Free Agent signing period (unless you're a Pirates fan)
8) Pre-Season NFL/ Fantasy Football Draft Day
7) Fantasy Baseball Draft Day/ Olympics/ MLB's Opening Day
6) First Round of NBA Playoffs/ NFL Draft
5) Non-BCS NCAA Football Bowl Season
4) NHL Playoffs (every game, every round)/ NBA Finals
3) Regular Season NFL & College Football
2) March Madness/BCS Bowls
1) World Series/Superbowl

-- On that note, I sure hope The Giants find a way to land CC Sabathia. It's been reported that Los Gigantes are planning to offer him a contract at just slightly less than the Yankees are. CC has stated that if the money is close, he'd rather play in the National League and close to his hometown of Vallejo.

I know our lineup is totally anemic, but we'd have a filthy, disgusting starting rotation, and that would allow us to trade Matt Cain or Jonathan Sanchez for a bat. Prince Fielder? Dan Uggla?

-- I'm getting bored of TV... which is disturbing, because I watch a lot of it, and thanks to my DVR, I get to watch whatever shows I want rather religiously. All the CSIs stick to their own formula-- which never changes (although I'm still amused by the sleazy absurdity of Horatio Caine and CSI: Miami), Prison Break has gotten really weird, and I don't think anything on ABC is even watchable. I was intrigued by the lesbian action on Grey's Anatomy, but that show is beyond gay at this point and I became thoroughly disgusted by the choice to make Dr. Erica Hahn one of the lesbians. I mean, yes, it's obvious she was a lesbian and it fit, but if you want guys like me to watch that show, it needs to be Katherine Heigl. On top of it, I just heard King of the Hill is getting canceled. I just don't know what to do.

Just when I'm losing hope, and watching 2 episodes of Cold Case reruns each night, who comes to the rescue?

None other than Jack Bauer and 24.

I tell ya, it better be a step up from last year. I honestly cannot remember one thing from last year's season, other than it was confusing, and at times looked more like The West Wing or CSI than 24.

-- I saw the new Bond movie, Quantum of Solace. I won't try to spoil it for anyone who hasn't seen it. What I will say is that it was pretty cool. A ton of absurd and violent action sequences saved it from a mediocre villain and plot. Was it the best Bond film of all time? Absolutely not. It was, however, worth the price of admission.

I basically just gauge films on whether or not it was worth the $9 bucks I spent on the ticket and/or the pro-rated amount I spent on Jim Beam and Diet Pepsi Max that I sneak into the theater in my pants or a girl's purse to get loaded on during the movie. So yeah, it was worth the $16 bucks.

I tell you though, that Bond girl, Olga Kurylenko, could damn well be the hottest Bond girl of all time. Exotically smokin' hot.

-- I'm an avid Bill Simmons reader on (archives). His writing is thoroughly entertaining and dare I say, brilliant. It's ironic though, that his "mailbags" of readers' ridiculous emails are almost as entertaining.

He pointed out in his last column how all these TV shows called "The ______" are just ridiculous. First came TNT's "The Closer" which I've never watched. Now there's NBC's "The Mentalist." Now, I see a commerical on TNT for "The Librarian"!!!

Are you friggin kidding me? The Librarian?

What's next? The Detective? The Custodian? The DMV Clerk?

Why don't we dig up the corpse that is Corbin Bersen's career and make a recycled new series called The Dentist while we're at it. What a joke.

I honestly hate these people. Total jerks.

-- Somali pirates captured a 1,000+ foot Saudi oil tanker off the coast of Africa. It's full of oil, and its 25 man international crew is apparently unharmed (and if they were taken over so easily, they were probably unarmed). It's been docked in Somalia for a few days now. I bet someone would've taken military action if gas was still $4.25 a gallon.

And while we're talking about Somali pirates...

The country of Somalia needs to be quarantined, and if we had any decency, the world would just put it out of its misery. Oh, yeah, I'm the sick one? They haven't had a functioning government in 17 years, don't have a single AM radio station in the entire country, and one of its chief exports is scrap metal.

Throw in some hardcore pirate action on the high seas, and you have yourself hell on earth.

Why don't we just send our death row inmates there? We should just drop them off in Mogadishu with $20 bucks and a bottle of Aquafina. Oh yeah... no cruel and unusual punishment. Damn...

-- Does Janet Napolitano remind anyone of Janet Reno?

-- On that note, how does hiring former and current Clintonistas of all shapes and sizes constitute change, Mr. Obama?

-- Mitt Romney wrote a very intriguing piece for the New York Times on why the government should let Detroit go bankrupt. Keep in mind, he won Michigan in the primaries...

Hey, I voted for him in the primaries too. I've got the sticker to prove it.

-- A barrel of light, sweet crude oil is running at just over $50 a gallon. Man, I wish I still have my Silverado... I'd be burning it up like wildfire.

-- I once petitioned my dad to invest in a giant gasoline storage tank so that we could buy a few thousand gallons of gasoline at a cheap price and use it when it got too expensive.

Here's a more practical idea. Buy gas at today's price, then use it on a per gallon basis when the price goes up. I bet those guys are kicking themselves now!

-- Speaking of which... remember Chrysler's deal? Buy a car, and we give you a gas card good for two years with fuel locked in at $2.99 a gallon?

One of the smartest things they've done in years. What do you wanna bet it was unintentional?

-- This is one of my favorite news stories in awhile.

A woman in Arizona was jogging on a trail outside of Prescott, when a fox bit her in the foot. She grabbed the son of a bitch, and then it bit her arm. To see if it was rabid or not, she ran back to her car for A MILE while the fox continued biting her arm. Then she threw it in her trunk and drove to the hospital!

It turns out the thing was rabid, but geez lady, that is some crazy shit! First of all, I don't know how well I'd do trying to run a mile, let alone while a rabid fox was chewing up my arm. That lady is badass!

-- The Yankees' Mike Mussina has decided to call it a career. ESPN's Buster Olney argues that he has a decent chance of getting into the Hall of Fame. He's the oldest pitcher to ever record a 20 win season. Atta boy Moose.

-- Do you think former ESPN analyst Barry Melrose is regretting quitting his cushy gig in Bristol to coach the Tampa Bay Lightning? The Mulleted One was canned after only 16 games. Brutal.

-- The San Jose Sharks are the best team in the NHL thus far. They're 16-3-1. Team Teal is just rocking out with new coach Todd McLellan.

-- The Sharkies have new black alternate jerseys. We haven't officially seen them yet, but this is what we think they look like. Randy Hahn said they were sweet, so they must be.

-- Golfer JP Hayes told the truth, and it cost him dearly. He accidentally played with an unapproved ball halfway through a round, and it probably cost him a chance at a PGA Tour Card for next year. Yeah, he voluntarily admitted his gaffe. He could've gotten away with it too. Great guy or complete dope?

-- The Germans have banned Hezbollah's TV station, saying that it violates their constitution. Good for them. Nice to see Europe is growing a goddamn backbone.

-- On that note, is anyone else appalled that an Iranian-funded international terrorist organization hellbent on destabilizing Lebanon and destroying Israel has a television station? France and Spain (among others) are still allowing satellite providers to broadcast it. Nice.

Not only that, but this NY Times article talks about how Hezbollah is targeting scout groups. They're recruiting younger and younger. Sickos.

-- I created a Facebook event called "Blackout Wednesday". Blackout Wednesday is the night before Thanksgiving. Two years in a row, it's just been a total sloshfest at one of Marin County's finest boozing establishments. Everyone is fired up, and I think I started something great here by coining the term.

Apparently, many young people celebrate Blackout Wednesday as well. This isn't just regional.

And of course, just now by doing a Google search, I found out that I didn't actually come up with the term Blackout Wednesday. Damn.

Does it still count if I didn't know people already came up with it? Come on, I want to feel cool still! I'm still taking credit for spreading the term amongst those who haven't heard it.

-- These guys made a graph that shows that the NHL now outdraws the NBA on average. Can this really be true? I guess the NHL isn't as cultish as non-hockey believers would have you think.

-- Anyone heard of Brandon Jennings? He's the University of Arizona recruit who decided not to go to Tucscon (or couldn't because of SAT scores, you decide), but chose to play overseas in Rome. The NBA states that a player must be at least one year removed from high school before being eligible to be drafted. Jennings is the first to play in Europe instead of going to college for a year.

ESPN The Magazine followed him. Pretty interesting. I always wonder what it's like for foreign players to play in the U.S. in terms of culture shock. It must be even crazier for an American black athlete to be in Europe.

And what about hockey players? How does it feel to be born and raised in Moscow or Helsinki, or Stockholm, and now you're playing hockey in Raleigh, San Jose, or Phoenix. Wild scene.

-- Also, there's the story of Josh Childress. He's the former Stanford star and Atlanta Hawks player who took more money to play in Greece. ESPN also did a piece on him. He says a bartender knelt to the ground before him and "passionately kissed his feet" just because Childress plays for his favorite team. Yikes!

Anyone in New York kissed Zach Randolph's feet lately?

Okay, well that was some good stuff. Hope you had some good reading. Happy Blackout Wednesday to all, and to all a drunk night.