Friday, May 04, 2007


HEY FOLKS!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!


So this is what it feels like to have your NBA team in the playoffs? I can't imagine that everyone feels this good. I mean, we've gone from doormats, and barely mentinoned on ESPN to the darlings of the country!

That's right Warriors fans, the drought is over. We're baaaaaaaaaaaaa--aaaackkkkk!

The last time our boys from Oakland made the playoffs, I was 8 years old. I don't remember it. Even if I did, I think we got swept, so it sucked anyway.

Finally, us long suffering fans can hold our heads up high. We beat the best team in the league. The only group that performed better than the Warriors were the fans at Oracle Arena. I would have killed a man to be there. My God, what a rush it would've been. For God's sake, we set 3 consecutive records for the largest crowd ever to see a basketball game in California.

3 games, 3 new records. EAT YOUR HEART OUT LAKER FANS!

I just can't get enough of all the comments and articles by sports-media types about how loud and crazy it was; how they'd never seen or heard anything like this. It was a sea of yellow and blue, towels flying, no one ever sitting down for more than 2 minutes at a time; 20,600 starved fanatics creating a deafening roar during pre-game warmups. I've never even heard of that, let alone at an NBA game.

That's what happens when you take the best fans in the country, starve them for 13+ years, tease them every year, and then disappoint. We kept coming back-- we never left. Finally we were rewarded with an absolute bloodfeast of the pathetic Dallas Mavericks.

Baron Davis led this team through thick and thin in this series with the help of his trusty sidekicks of athletic passionate ballplayers. Other than game 2, when no one played very well, the guy was nothing short of incredible. He took the ball hard to the rim, he played suffocating defense, and he hit clutch shot after clutch shot. Sometimes he was fading away, sometimes falling down, and most recently in game 6, he made them on ONE FUCKING LEG!

Honestly, in the next two days I'm going to buy a Baron Davis jersey. I've been waiting on it for awhile now, trying to figure out which player to get. He's answered any questions I've ever had about him. I just can't believe how God-like he was in this series.

And, his antithesis was Dirk Nowitzki. All I have to say about him, is that an MVP scores more than 8 points in one of the biggest games of his career. The Warriors exposed every weakness that he has. He's weak minded, he's afraid of driving to the basket, he can't guard anyone on the perimeter or down low, he can't block shots, and he has no nutsac. There you have it, your impotent superstar who showed up for a total of 10 minutes in 6 games. I've lost all respect for him. He's a fantasy juggernaut and a regular season superstar, and that is it. Nothing more.

On the Warriors side, we've got probably the most maligned player in pro sports in Stephen Jackson. The guy is a head case, but he's one of the most clutch, talented, passionate players I've ever witnessed play the game. I'm so damn proud of him. I just need for him not to get thrown out of games, and we'll have ourselves a good old fashioned redemption.

Honestly, in case you've never been a true fan of a sports team like this, I don't know how to describe it. It's been painful-- not like 49ers rebuilding after so much success--- not like the Giants missing the playoffs for two years-- it has been so much worse than that. And finally, we have a winner! We captured the hearts and minds of a nation, slaughtered Goliath and then put his head on a stick for all to see.


How about this list (again, EAT YOUR HEARTS OUT LAKERS): Carlos Santana, Kate Hudson, Owen Wilson, Snoop Dogg, Woody Harrellson, Jessica Alba, Ronnie Lott, Alex Smith & the 49ers... even Ron Artest made an appearance. Unbelievable.... Yet I BELIEVE!

While watching this series, I've reacted in some pretty strange ways, and I can barely control myself. In the beginning, I was so happy and proud that we won game 1 that I almost cried at the end. Literally. Game 2, I was so mad, I could've put my fist through sheetrock. Game 3 was just an up and down rollercoaster, and game 4 was pure bliss-- of course the bliss came after I went into insane convulsions on the ground in my room with Blur cranked up on repeat.


I still can't believe it all. I can't believe it's real. And yet, I BELIEVE. It's more like I just can't comprehend it. I'm used to half-heartedly following the NBA Playoffs, and investing all of my sports energy in baseball. But now, it's May and I have 3 teams going in full swing. I feel like quitting my job, and blowing off school to give the Warriors, Sharks, and Giants my full attention (in that order).

This is what being a fan is all about. It's so sweet. It's just so amazing.

This is probably the most incoherent rambling I've ever written, but I just can't help it. I'm just nuts!

All I know is that we're going on to ROUND 2, and we're probably playing Houston, who has ZERO chance against us.

As I popped a bottle of Chandon champagne with one minute to go tonight, I actually began to realize that we could go all the way.... I BELIEVE!

Thanks to: Baron Davis, Don Nelson, Stephen Jackson, Chris Mullin, Matt Barnes, Jason Richardson, Dirk Nowitzki (for sucking ass), Biedrins, Monta, and the rest of the boys.